Goblins

The background is maintained here.

Goblins are tenacious creatures with snot green skin and snickering smiles as if the whole world were a practical joke. Small, unpleasant and spiteful, Goblins are often written off by those who know no better as simply the weaker serving class of the Orc race. In fact, Goblins are utterly separate from Orcs, being not only smaller and less imposing but also far cleverer and more dextrous. They might not beat you in a straight fight, but to underestimate even a small force of Goblins would be a grave mistake.

That Goblins are related to Orcs is obvious. They share the same colour of skin, similar physiological quirks and an underlying sense of malice. A Goblin’s idea of heaven is finding something smaller and weaker than itself and tormenting it to death, although in reality they are so jumpy the source of their attentions has to be half-dead already. But whereas the creation of the Orcs is relatively well-understood, not one scholar has a clear idea how the Goblins came about. It has been opined that they are a kind of cosmic mistake, something cobbled together by lesser Abyssals while the dark gods were looking the other way. However, the leading theory is that Garkan the Black, not knowing what to do with the scraps left over from creating the Orcs, formed them into the Goblins. Their appearance as slaves in Orc armies and skill at crafting deadly weapons out of scraps seem to support this theory.

Goblins can be found in every corner of Mantica. They are a persistent nuisance, and sometimes a genuine threat, to all other creatures. Goblins are even more numerous than their Orcish cousins. No one knows quite how many Goblins plague the world, but some sages believe that if the population is left unchecked the world could face another great flood. This time, however, it will be a flood of shrieking green Goblins.

For the most part, they are subservient to the larger Orcs, employed in every role in society that Orcs are too lazy to fill themselves (meaning most of them). They are deployed in war by their masters to wear down an enemy with sheer weight of numbers before the Orcs move in for the kill. Where they are not enslaved by Orcs, they form their own petty kingdoms and tribes. These are of a bewildering variety – Goblins dwell in swamps, jungle, deserts, forests, mountains, hills, caverns and even sewers.

By and large, the Goblin races are found in slave pits. The Orcs drive them before their armies as cannon fodder. The Abyssal Dwarfs use them to grease the wheels of their terrible forges. Humans mostly round them up and chop of their heads, “cleansing the countryside” as they call it. Some Goblins, however, manage to escape the fate of their brethren. Many tunnel beneath the earth, building whole kingdoms and societies within the dark places of the world. As long as they are careful not to dig too close to Tragar or the Dwarfen mountains, they can survive mostly undiscovered. In these Goblin bastions, the true strength of this vile race comes to the fore - their insidious engineering skill.

Goblins are more ingenious than Orcs and do most of the building and smithying in their lands. They are especially cunning when it comes to devising new weapons, although it has to be said that most of them are also laughably incompetent when it comes to building them. Nevertheless, some Goblin inventions become firm favourites on the battlefield, and it is common for warriors bearing nets, lassos, spring-powered harpoons, beehive-flingers and large, iron-toothed traps to fight alongside their spear-armed brethren.

Goblins do not craft pristine well-oiled machines like the Dwarfs. They lack the focus to truly turn their ideas into reality and have no patience for prototyping or safety regulations. Instead, an idea will seize hold of a Goblin tinkerer. They will grab at whatever is nearby, shoving pieces together in strange and unnatural ways in a mad creative burst. The end result is either the would-be inventor’s untimely death or a weapon that makes armies flee in terror.

When driven to war as an army of their own, not as slaves in another, Goblins march as a single seething horde with little order to it. This horde is the only way they can overcome their inbred cowardice. As long as each Goblin has two dozen of his kin around him, he has a statistically better chance of surviving while they all die. Unfortunately, as they die, his chance of death rises as well and if the enemy does not die quickly, he will run. If a goblin army does not have overwhelming numbers, nine times out of ten it will retreat. The only time they will actually fight in such a situation is if they have both an incredibly charismatic commander and nice lots of pointy armoured bits. The extra amour, shields, and preferably ranged weapons or terrifying pets can trick the Goblins into thinking they are invulnerable, though it takes little to disabuse them of this notion. For whether in a horde or armed to the teeth, Goblins die quickly. Their only saving grace is that they breed faster than rabbits. Hordes will teem out of their caverns and villages.

The greater strategists among Orc-kind recognise Goblin cowardice and give their smaller cousins bows, provided the Goblins stand in front of the Orcs and point the weapons away from them. The bow is the preferred weapon of the Goblin in any case, as they generally feel safer when they can inflict harm on their enemies from a distance, and, should the opportunity arise, and they can get up the courage, it also affords them the opportunity for revenge on their oppressors…

Not all Goblins are quite so timid, and the larger ones will form into fighting units with some value. These Goblins commonly call themselves ‘Gutrenders’, although that is not how the Orcs tend to refer to them, instead derisively calling them ‘Sharpsticks’. For all their bragging, Sharpsticks still exhibit some degree of Goblin fearfulness, and carry spears, the better to keep the enemy at arm’s length. Shields too are favoured, the larger the better. Naturally, these items are of little use in the caverns and close tunnels of overrun Dwarf citadels where many Goblins make their home, and a close second favourite is a curved knife, preferably wielded behind the backs of their enemies.

Away from the Orcs, the goblin mind can shine. They have an affinity for wicked creatures, forming alliances with all kinds of sharp-toothed, stinking beasts and possess them in great multitudes. Many are employed as draft animals or mounts. Not only do the Goblins relish the ability to escape quickly, the animal they sit upon is usually the better fighter. Another favourite asset of Goblin ‘Biggits’ (their generals) are the ferocious but dumb Tolls and Giants. Shambling monsters many times the size of Goblins, they follow their little masters around, either in the hope of a free meal provided by the Goblins, or in the hope of a free meal provided by a Goblin.

Among the ‘free’ Goblins are those Goblins who exhibit true genius. There are the Goblin wizards, or ‘Wiz’, who are bright enough to remember spells and the ingredients to go with them provided they are not too complicated, and Goblin Engineers, brightest of all the greenskins. How these small and stupid creatures can produce inventors intelligent enough to dabble successfully in steam power and black powder weaponry is the source of much debate, among those who care about such things. There are even rumours of an entire ramshackle city of Goblins full of bizarre machines. This mythical place is said to be the home of the Engineer’s Guild, and they rule it with a (literally) iron fist. Supposedly it lies somewhere in the marshes beyond the northern border of Basilea, but few folk give this outlandish rumour much credence.

The Ogres of the Mammoth Steppes subjugated the Red Goblins of the area long ago. For the most part the two races live alongside one another peaceably, for the Goblins are seen as so weak that they are beneath the attentions of the average Ogre. Long ago the Red Goblins learned that the only way to get their share of food and shelter on the inhospitable plains – and not get eaten by the many wandering beasts that live there – was to bow and scrape to the Ogres. Now they follow the Ogre hordes on the march, attending them as servants and often fighting alongside them. In return, the Goblins enjoy a measure of protection, as long as they stay out of the way of their lumbering overlords when they’re in a belligerent mood; which is most of the time.

They are not entirely evil. Goblins can be traded with. As one finds the occasional truly evil Man, it is possible to find the occasional truly good Goblin, but such individuals are rarer than hen’s teeth, and are usually murdered by their compatriots.